I had it coming to me. For whatever reason, when I grocery shop I feel obligated to chat with the check out lady. I think that job would be boring, grueling, and a little gross. Who wants to scan raw chicken all day?
Sometimes it’s obvious the checker isn’t in the mood to talk. Sometimes he/she just plain looks like someone I wouldn’t have much in common with aside from the fact that we both probably buy milk, bread, and eggs. I get it. I put a lid on my chatter and keep my keen eye on the scanner to make sure I’m not being overcharged. Today the checkout girl initiated the conversation.
The Checkout Girl and I were babbling back and forth and I heard a Bangles song playing over the sound system. I said, “Oh wow, this is an old song.” Checkout Girl said, “Yeah, they pretty much play old stuff all the time.” Since I find it impossible to shut my mouth, I said, “I think I was in Jr. High when this was popular. You probably weren’t even born.” Rather than take the polite route and say, “Oh don’t be silly. You can’t be that much older than me.” Checkout Girl said, “Oh yeah, I’m SURE I wasn’t born then.”
Which brings me to this…I’ve decided I need to start taking better care of my skin. I think God wants me to. I flipped on the TV at 6:00 a.m. and normally Fox News is on, but I fell asleep to an episode of “Tori and Dean Inn Love.” (In case you’ve never been up with a nursing infant, obscure cable channels fill air time with infomercials.) There was Cindy Crawford with her 41-year-old flawless face. Evidently, she looks fabulous as a direct result of using a skin care regime called Meaningful Beauty.
The more I watched, the more I became convinced my Neutrogena wasn’t doing the trick. I’m 100% sure it contains 0% free radicals, and apparently that’s what I’m missing. That must be why I can see faint cross feet coming to roost. I started going over our budget in my head and wondered if I really needed to spend $119/month on skin care. But then…but then…they slashed the price in half…and wait, the first 500 callers get the whole set for $29.95!
I’m realistic enough to know no amount of melon extract is going to make me look like Cindy Crawford. I don’t have a mole on my lip. However, there were other testimonials from Valerie Bertinelli, who by the way also makes me conscience of my weight issue, and some lady from CSI. Not to mention the raves from Cindy’s relatives. Honestly. You’d think I would know better, but I have to tell you I’m considering it.
First, this commercial just happened to be on when I turned on the TV and then the Checkout Girl confirms my aging suspicions. Yep. I think God wants me to save my face before it’s too late.
If you’ve ever used Meaningful Beauty or know anyone who is not a paid endorser who has, please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. If you think I should see a dermatologist instead of taking skin care advice from Valerie Bertinelli, now’s the time to chime in.
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2 comments:
this is hilarious! and you have little wit! are you kidding me! let me know what you find out, but what i will say is that i tried proactive and my skin didn't turn out like jessica simpsons - or was i suppose to look like jessica simpson... i just can't get it straight!
First, I'd recommend you don't mention to Brandon that you are buying stuff from infomercials! Then I'd tell you that you don't have anything that needs to be done to your face! It's the 30's...it just happens to us :)
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