Blaming the government for my mess.

Most of my days begin with me telling myself that I have the whole day ahead of me and should be able to get a fair amount of cleaning done. Then, I check my e-mail and remember I’ve scheduled lunch with someone I worked with for three months in 1999. As I’m grabbing the cereal boxes out of the pantry, I glance at the calendar and remember I’m scheduled to deliver treats for Cafeteria Workers Appreciation Week. While driving to pick up treats for said week, I realize we’re almost out of gas, and Costco is much cheaper. I drive to Costco and realize I might as well run in and get dishwasher detergent. And on and on, my days go. Rarely do accomplish what I originally meant to do.

I try not to think about it, or I start to feel overwhelmed and like a total failure. Instead I choose to ignore the growing pile of laundry and toy-strewn bonus room and show up wherever it is I’ve committed myself to being. Yesterday afternoon something totally unexpected popped up and ate my entire day.

Sarah Palin’s coming to town; my disaster areas will have to wait! Evidently, word spread that Indiana will still be voting this year, and they’re finally sending in the big gun. As an added bonus, Governor Palin is speaking at a venue ten minutes from our house.

I was on a quest to get tickets the minute I heard about the appearance. I spent a good portion of my afternoon on the horn. After Alex got off the bus, we drove over to Republican headquarters to get in line. The line was the length of a strip mall and wrapped around a Kroger. We waited in line an hour and a half. The kids were really good and had fun chatting with an available audience. We snagged four tickets. It was a long wait, but totally worth it.

We made a promised stop by the Dairy Queen on the way home. When I realized the kids' sundaes would melt while we ate dinner, I let them eat dinner in reverse. They ate dessert first and actually went on to finish their meals. It pays to wait in line without incident in our house.

Today really is Cafeteria Worker Appreciation Day and I got a call at 7:00 a.m. that we’re also including recess monitors and I'm scrambling for extra treats. So my floors will be neglected again today while I deliver muffins and write Governor Palin’s name in glitter on poster board.

I miss sitcoms and news magazines

I’m going to have to stop watching TV. People sometimes ask me if I get lonely with Brandon traveling so much. I am pretty independent and even enjoy time alone, so it’s not really that big of a deal. I also have my television routines to keep me company. I watch a lot of TLC, The Learning Channel. I guess I love to learn. Who knew?!

Last night, I fell asleep to the show about the Duggar family. They’re the people with 17 kids and one on the way. I’m fascinated by other people’s lives in general and this family just has more people for me to study. I was watching their show, when a commercial for some weird medical show came on and showed a man known as “The Tree Man.”

This poor soul has some horrific disease that basically turned his body into something that looks exactly like a tree. DO NOT LOOK AT THIS LINK IF YOU ARE SQUIMISH! I couldn’t look and I couldn’t look away. It apparently made a big impact on me, because I worried about The Tree Man all night. I dreamt about him. I woke up at 4:42 am out of concern. I did a little research, and hooray some American doctor “cured” him with of all things, a huge dose of Vitamin A. Cured is a relative term, but the man looks a heck of a lot better. I hope I can get his bark covered appendages out of my mind. Seriously, he was ALL I could think about this morning. I thought I might finally be forced to get psychiatric help.

Just when I thought I could turn on my television again, I heard Oprah and Lisa Ling announcing that I need to know how the animals that become my food are treated. Really? I don’t need this.

Caramel apples in tank tops

As anyone with a phone line or within a ten mile radius of me knows, I’m sick of the heat. I love Fall, and I feel like we’re going to get cheated out of it this year. I sound like some sort of victim, but I have a feeling we’re going to go from 84 and sunny to 31 and slushy.

In my refusal to wear shorts to the pumpkin patch, we decided we would celebrate Fall this weekend, we would just do so in the air conditioning. GramPam sent the kids Halloween treat boxes and one of the treats was a caramel apple making kit. We tackled this project in our climate controlled kitchen and we were finished in 20 minutes. Next.

I mentioned something about going to Oliver Winery and the family latched onto the idea. So, Sunday we made our way south for a wine-soaked picnic. I can’t imagine anything more appropriate to do with small children on a Sunday. We visited their market and made a picnic out of cheese, fresh baguettes, and crackers. Brandon and I enjoyed a bottle of wine and the kids were thrilled to pick out their own fun drinks. 100% non-fermented fruit juice, lest you question my sanity.

For those of you living anywhere near Oliver, you really should make the trip. The leaves are all starting to turn and their grounds are indescribably beautiful. I just caught myself trying to describe the grounds and I really can’t. Just trust me. Load the kids into the van and make a day out of it. You might even be lucky enough to get a glorious Christmas card shot like this:

In a moment of insanity, we decided to drive on to Nashville, Indiana, Fall Tourist Trap Capitol of Indiana. Nashville is quaint; with little artist studios, stained-glass stores, and 57 fudge shops. It always sounds like a better idea than it turns out to be. It’s crowded, there are few parking places, and for extra fun there was some sort of Harley convention. We bought some fudge. I ducked into a couple of stores only to quickly decide I have no need for a “Welcome Friends” toaster cozy. We bought lemon shake-ups and then we left. Every time we go, I announce it’s my last visit. My latest boycott lasted six years.

Brandon and the kids enjoying our time in Nashville. Alex made the following observation while feasting on sugar, "So, uh, this place looks kind of old fashiony, huh? Is that on purpose, or is it just old?"

Happy Birthday Giuseppe!

Because I’m a loser and can’t seem to beat the mail lady to the punch, I failed to get our little friend Giuseppe’s birthday card in the mail. I called and left a voice mail telling him his card is on it’s way, but that’s a pretty lame thing to do to an eight year old boy. Especially a boy we happen to think is so great!

Giuseppe is Jill C.’s little guy, except he’s starting to be not so little anymore. I can’t believe this kid is eight. Giuseppe was the first baby out of all of our friends, so he was the Prince!

Right after he was born, Brandon and I went to visit the new family and Giuseppe was a little fussy. Jill was a brand new mom and really tired and I was so excited to help her in anyway I could. I was able to get this tiny little bundle to stop crying and I felt like a rock star. I paced and bounced and hummed some tune only a newborn would find comforting. He was clam, Jill was calm and all was well. Then, Brandon told me we had to leave. Things went down hill fast. Giuseppe started crying, Jill took over and refused to let me take her newborn son home, and I sobbed all the way to Interstate 70. I loved this little guy and I wanted to stay and help his mom, whom I’d already loved for years!

Jill and her wonderful husband, Gaspare have another son, who will get his own birthday shout out in a couple of days. The really exciting news around the Cucinella house is there will be a new baby GIRL to love in a matter of days. I am at a stage where I am 99.9% sure our family is complete, and I LOVE other people’s babies. I always loved them, but when you’re chasing your own preschooler and nursing an infant, you don’t get much time to sit and cuddle someone else’s little one. Oh, but my day (I guess it’s really Jill’s day) is near.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIUSEPPE! Auntie Leslie is really, really sorry, for the pathetic hand drawn birthday flair, but it’s the best she can do after a large caffeinated iced coffee. BTW, this picture doesn’t do this kid justice. He is GORGEOUS! This is also the example of a great school picture, that our family fails to live up to.

Why Alex will be sent to Barbazon

Remember the post when I mentioned I was not expecting much out of Alex’s school pictures? I mentioned he always looks really uncomfortable and how I’d coached him on a relaxed, natural smile. Well, the pictures came home last week…

While I’m not a fan of backgrounds, I also know they have their purpose, like for example, a school yearbook picture. So, it’s not that I’m opposed to a posed picture in front of a background. I just know how my son’s picture will turn out, even before he sits on the spinning stool. I opened the package and was instantly reminded why I normally order the bare minimum.

Now, Brandon gave me a really hard time and told me to stop snickering, rolling my eyes, and giving Alex the business for once again looking strange in a school picture. I didn’t behave badly in front of Alex, it was all behind his back, like a good mother. Brandon said, “You’re overreacting.” (I’m going to have a shirt made for Brandon that says just that, because it will save him the 2.5 words he says to me about most situations.) “It’s not that bad. He smiled. That’s his smile.” Hogwash, I’ve seen his cute little smooshed-cheeks smiles and they’re much cuter.

Brandon had a point, because the soccer pictures arrived this weekend…

My son, the mathlete

This little guy, while cute, doesn't like to read directions.

This little one doesn't want to be told "No." Ever.

I need to write this down somewhere…I did an hour and a half of math homework with Alex. I was able to answer all the questions without a struggle. Yes, I know it’s first grade math, but that’s where all my trouble with numbers began. Mad Minutes, be damned.

After what was a fairly relaxing day of a haircut (which is scary short) and lunch with my friend Rebecca, Alex came home with a folder full of worksheets that needed to be redone. An entire folder full. All math. In addition-- pardon the pun--to the sheets in need of retouching, Alex has a spelling test tomorrow and a “baggie book” he needs to be able to read fluently by morning.

I brought it on myself. I just told my friend Sommer today that Alex only has ten minutes of homework per night. In fairness to Alex’s teacher, he only had ten minutes of actual homework. The rest of the work was stuff we had to re-do because Alex apparently left the planet while the rest of the class read directions.

After all the homework, we flew out the door to Cub Scouts. We’re two weeks in and I’m hoping Alex doesn’t want to move beyond a Tiger Cub. We had the meeting at a park and the boys were as focused as cats. Meredith is unbelievably high maintenance at these meetings and I’m the only mom there. Highlight of my week. I’m just proud of myself for avoiding eye contact when they asked for a den leader.

You might think this kid is pointing to something related to nature. You would be wrong, he was pointing out where the snacks were. I'm not kidding.

High Maintenance Harriet, herself.

Does Jesus like Gymboree?

Is it strange to think God wanted me to shop today? Don’t e-mail me. I’m kidding. However, all the cards finally fell into place today and I found clothes for both kids. I’ve had a time of it lately. First, Alex’s pants were an issue and after I solved that, it seemed I couldn’t find anything cute for Meredith. Everything looked as though it had been a victim of a bedazzling.

I needed to exchange some leggings I bought for Meredith and when I walked into the store, they had started their promotion, for which I had a $25 credit, a day early. Not to mention the sales racks were heavy with Fall clothes. I wound up with five outfits for $90. And…I didn’t have to step foot inside the mall. And…Megan and Catey met me for coffee afterwards.

That was my second latte of the day because I also met my new friend Toni earlier to answer some photography questions for her. It was a pleasure to share what little I know. What do you know? There is still a little trainer left in me.

October crept up on me this year and I didn’t realize it was the 1st until I talked to Sara and she mentioned she and her husband Matt were going to spend their anniversary watching the Brewers game. I didn’t flip our calendar over and I totally forgot their anniversary! So, happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Alexander...