Adult Supervision Required

I am a giant child. If no one holds me accountable, I never accomplish anything. I overeat if no one forces me onto a public scale. I’ll go weeks without dusting the formal living room or dining room if we aren’t entertaining. I will let laundry spill out of baskets if we’re living in swimming suits.

I think I need a life coach.

Better yet, a drill sergeant.

I did 12 loads of laundry yesterday. I washed sweater sets. Granted we had some chilly days late in the spring, but we certainly haven’t since Memorial Day. I almost bought new beach towels because I thought ours were lost. Turns out, they were at the bottom of several hampers.

As I sorted the laundry, I purposely stacked it in front of the back door. That way, I couldn’t leave until progress was made. Accomplishment via force. I literally had to dig us out.

I also hadn’t done a legitimate grocery store run since 1892. When I realized we were out of milk, bread, eggs, and pantry staples I decided yesterday had to be the day. I couldn’t go until the laundry pile shrank and I wasn’t about to take two crankster children to the store later than 6:00 p.m. Luckily, my father in law called and wanted us to pick up strawberries. I told him I’d trade him for two kids for an hour.

I dropped off the kids and on my way to the grocery, made two quick stops to return clothes that were just as unflattering at home as there were in the dressing room. I also hit a great sale at Ann Taylor and am outfitted for the summer. I love longish shirts with elastic waists. They hide fat and the varicose veins under my left knee that lingered after Meredith’s birth. I think varicose veins come free with every ten pound baby. I fell into the same pattern I always do. I found what I liked, and bought it in various colors. I just count on the fact that I don’t see the same people every day, so I should be okay.

I did the grocery shopping and picked up the kids and by the time they were bathed, brushed, read to, prayed with, and tucked in, it was darn near 1000 p.m. Don’t worry, they were both up at 6:50 a.m. I threatened naps by 8:15.

Today, I’m folding and putting away the remnants of the laundry pile while vowing not to let it pile up the rest of the summer. Right.

I also need to find a home for the mid-19th century china covering my table. When my aunt passed away two weeks ago, I inherited my great-great-great grandmother’s china. It’s lovely, but it seemingly multiplies overnight. I don’t have a china cabinet, but I may have to buy one soon. I don’t trust it on it’s own.

Yesterday’s downpours are finally over, but it’s still too chilly to go to the pool. I have to get Alex and Meredith outside before they make a whole in the wall. Yesterday’s laundry festival was described as “unfun.” I think they’re retaliating.