Kicking and Screaming...

The day I've been dreading since the day we planned this trip is here. It's time to go home. It's time to leave my bubble of near perfection. It's time to pack all our belongings, draw one last breath of fresh Maui air, and say goodbye to our paradise. Meredith was clearly panicked about this day too. She knew it was coming. Starting Friday, she kept saying, "Oh no! We only have a few more days here!" She's my girl, no question.

To say I'm not ready to leave isn't sufficient. Noting that I really, really don't want to leave doesn't cut it either. I don't want to wake up looking at any empty lot next to our house instead of lush green mountains. I don't want to leave the roar of the ocean, or the ruffle of palm frawns, or the squeals of my kids as they run from the shore headlong into the surf. I will sorely miss the way our salty swimming suits smell after I rinse them and hang them out of eye's view on our balcony to dry.

I think most of my panic comes from worry that this is as good as it gets! Nothing golden ever lasts.

I have so many pictures to process it's making my head spin. There is so much to see here and everything is beautiful beyond description. This is our third trip here and I still cannot get over just how breathtaking it all is. There are so many contrasts. The royal blue of the water, the jet black of the ancient lava it smacks into, the lime green plants that grow along the coast. My lens cannot possibly do any of it justice.

Any sort of anxiety issues I have, I can usually soothe with a plan. My plan to deal with my current neurosis, is to tell myself we'll come back every five years. Brandon was very agreeable to my plan, and that doesn't always happen. So many people people our parents' age stopped us this week and told us how great they thought it was we brought our kids with us. "Bring them while they still want to go with you. Our son(s) wouldn't make the trip. They're too busy." "They grow up and move on before you know it. Show 'em what you want them to see, while you can."

When I started thinking about our next (hopeful) visit to Maui, I realized Meredith will be nine and Alex will be 12. Five years doesn't seem like much when you think about it, but there's a world of difference between four and seven and nine and 12. There's an even bigger difference between nine and 12 and 14 and 17...and then, 19 and 22. It's funny that a trip and planning future trips is what it takes to make me realize how short our time with our kids is, but it did. When I'm in the trenches driving to activities, volunteering, returning over due library books, and folding laundry, it seems never-ending. But it isn't.

Of course my plan is completely reliant upon Brandon continuing to be gainfully employed, Obama not taxing us out of life as we know it, and my rear being able to fit in an airline seat. But, I might not be able to get on the plane if I think about any of that...