Friday was Linda’s memorial service. We knew the day wouldn’t be easy and we dreaded sharing our grief publicly. Brandon doesn’t cry in movies or at weddings, so he’s not used to crying in front of others. I’ve cried in front of absolutely everyone I know at some point or another. I am a very uglier crier though, so I always dread the crying and its after effects. I get very swollen and very splotchy. So, we were both a nervous wreck. To our surprise, it wasn’t all that bad.
My father in law planned a “casual gathering” that would last four hours followed by a more formal service. Again, the idea of standing around for four hours in an awkward situation wasn’t something either of us was looking forward to. I even let Meredith take her regular nap and waited until Alex got home from school in order to avoid two hours or standing around sobbing. After we got to the gathering, I wished we’d been there for the entire time. Instead of feeling anxious and sad, we both felt a sense of peace and comfort surrounded and supported by so many friends.
We also saw relatives who we almost never see. I think it’s sad that people wait until someone dies to get together. When my grandpa died, I remember one of my cousins saying, “It’s ridiculous that the only time we’re ALL together is when somebody dies!” I agree. My family is scattered to say the least. One my dad’s side it’s, um…complicated. It’s great to see everyone, but it would have been so much better to do so at a family reunion…which I always complain about going to, so you can’t win with me!
We wound up spending extra time with Brandon’s cousins who I’d never really gotten to know and while it sounds really strange, had a great time. It was bad timing, but Linda would have been thrilled that Brandon and I were able to enjoy a part of the family neither of us had seen in years.
Thank you so much to all of you who were there, sent flowers, food, books, cards, words of encouragement, and prayers. We felt very loved and very, very blessed to have such an amazing group of friends. I’ve said it a million times, but my friends are so important to me and all of you were there once again. (By the way Pigeons, I burst into tears over the tulips. The miles melted and it felt like you were all in my kitchen.)
So, now we pick up the pieces, we lean on God, thank Him for his grace, and we move on. Our grief isn’t over and it isn’t packed away in a box, but we’re proceeding as normal as possible and crying at random intervals. We won’t be over loosing the head of our family any time soon, but we will live each day with joy and promise just as Linda would want.
My father in law planned a “casual gathering” that would last four hours followed by a more formal service. Again, the idea of standing around for four hours in an awkward situation wasn’t something either of us was looking forward to. I even let Meredith take her regular nap and waited until Alex got home from school in order to avoid two hours or standing around sobbing. After we got to the gathering, I wished we’d been there for the entire time. Instead of feeling anxious and sad, we both felt a sense of peace and comfort surrounded and supported by so many friends.
We also saw relatives who we almost never see. I think it’s sad that people wait until someone dies to get together. When my grandpa died, I remember one of my cousins saying, “It’s ridiculous that the only time we’re ALL together is when somebody dies!” I agree. My family is scattered to say the least. One my dad’s side it’s, um…complicated. It’s great to see everyone, but it would have been so much better to do so at a family reunion…which I always complain about going to, so you can’t win with me!
We wound up spending extra time with Brandon’s cousins who I’d never really gotten to know and while it sounds really strange, had a great time. It was bad timing, but Linda would have been thrilled that Brandon and I were able to enjoy a part of the family neither of us had seen in years.
Thank you so much to all of you who were there, sent flowers, food, books, cards, words of encouragement, and prayers. We felt very loved and very, very blessed to have such an amazing group of friends. I’ve said it a million times, but my friends are so important to me and all of you were there once again. (By the way Pigeons, I burst into tears over the tulips. The miles melted and it felt like you were all in my kitchen.)
So, now we pick up the pieces, we lean on God, thank Him for his grace, and we move on. Our grief isn’t over and it isn’t packed away in a box, but we’re proceeding as normal as possible and crying at random intervals. We won’t be over loosing the head of our family any time soon, but we will live each day with joy and promise just as Linda would want.
2 comments:
We were thinking of your entire family on Friday and this weekend! Much love and prayers to you! I am so glad the time was more joyous than expected - I imagine you had one happy angel observing it all.
Thinking of you all, it is never easy loosing a parent. Enjoy each other's company over the days ahead. Remember all of the good years that were spent with Linda.
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