It's a lot easier to use a public restroom alone.

By 8:00 a.m. yesterday, Brandon and I were child-free for the week. My parents made off with Alex and Meredith first thing in the morning and no one looked back. I even stood in the garage to wave and they all ignored me.

Before GramPam and Trophy got here on Saturday, we dug ourselves out of the Christmas mess and ran a few errands. The 65 degree weather made all of us anxious to get outside and while we were driving Alex asked about playing outside when we got home. I told him that would be great, so long as he stayed on the driveway because the yard was so wet. There are few things that aren’t catalysts for an Alex rebuttal. It started immediately.

Alex: “How do YOU know the ground is wet?!”
Mom: “It’s been raining for two days. Just ride you scooter on the driveway and be excited to be outside.”
Alex: “Fine! I’m going to build a bridge in the yard and ride my scooter to the swing set!”

Irrationality left the conversation, as it usually does.

Meredith was smart enough to realize if Alex kept up the argument, their chance at playing outside would fade fast. As she so often does, she looked for a way to end the tug of war between Alex and me.

Meredith: “You know what Ayex? I saw “waspas” on the swing set. When the bug yady sprayed for waspas, she compyetey missed our swingset.”

Alex: “I don’t care! I’ll put on a bee suit and get a can of wasp spray and I’ll spray ‘em until they’re gone. Then, I’ll swing.”

Meredith: Big Sigh. “Oh Ayex, God made you the way you are. You can’t change. You just have to stay the way you are.”

It took me about two seconds to realize Meredith interpreted a “bee suit” as something entirely different than what it was. Alex meant a sting-proof bee keeper's suit. Meredith was envisioning a bee costume, and Alex trying to transform himself into a bee thereby gaining their trust in order to wipe out their colony. Never mind we were initially discussing “waspas.”

When we got home, there was no time to play outside because Meredith needed a nap and Alex needed a haircut. Alex no longer looks like he’s growing out his hair for a Disney channel audition. As promised, my parents were here when Meredith woke up from her nap. We went out for dinner and then came home to play Rock Band with my parents.

Please take note of the fact that the "baby" in the background can't bring himself to watch.

I don’t have any pictures of my mom, who was our singer because she wouldn’t stand in one place long enough.

Brandon and I went to two malls yesterday and made all the returns and exchanges we needed to make. Alex and Meredith no longer wear the same sizes they wore at Thanksgiving when everyone asked us for clothing sizes. After trying on everything in my closet, I realized I no longer wear the same size I did at Thanksgiving. I had to do a little shopping myself. I found something to wear to a baptism we’re going to today. Once I get a really tight pair of control top panty hose it should fit just fine.