All right, all right!

*A note about today's post: It's making me INSANE that I'm suddenly unable to move pictures around with ease. I think I'm going to switch the blog over to Wordpress, but for the time being enjoy the pictures completely and totally out of order...The following picture will make sense once you get to the end. Way to steal my story-telling thunder, Blogger!

I still can’t wrap my brain around the fact that there are a handful of you who miss this blog when I don’t update it. Then again, there are several blogs I read like the morning paper, so I guess I can relate. I just don’t think I’m all that entertaining. I get sick of myself, so I assume everyone appreciates a break from “all Leslie all the time!” But since you asked, or badgered…

I assume you know our December was busy. Isn’t everyone’s? I could drone on about general business, that isn’t at all entertaining, but just know I did the same Christmas preparation everyone else did. Having Maria’s help was a Godsend all month long. I strategically baked before her visits.

We had a great Christmas. Because my father-in-law is two bricks short of a load and carries with him more drama than Lindsay Lohan, I decided it would be much more pleasant to celebrate Christmas Eve with our family alone. Had he been here, I wouldn’t have needed a salted pot of boiling water to steam the crab legs.

The day after Christmas, we left for Nashville and dropped the kids off with my parents for their annual post-Christmas stay. This year Brandon and I decided we would go somewhere rather than hanging around our house taking down decorations and shopping the Target clearance aisles. We settled on Cancun, Mexico. We wanted to go to Mexico and the Marriott there was billed as fabulous.

It was, but I had to get used to being in a third-world country. I also had to acclimate to over-development. I’m not used to sweeping back the balcony curtains to see another hotel right next door. I know I’m spoiled and obnoxious. I was also 80% convinced we were going to wind up in the cross-fire of the escalating Mexican drug war.

Our first day there, Brandon and I went downtown to shop for junk and wound up at Jose Frog’s for lunch. I am way too old and was sober as a church mouse, so it wasn’t my cup of tea. Brandon however, made himself at home and drank a “big ass beer.” I sat and watched him and longed for a Lysol wipe to sanitize my seat.

Our second day there, the Bickerson’s got into a fight in the lobby over the tour Brandon scheduled for us to Chichen Itza. Brandon said something mean to me after he was convinced I let the bus leave without us. In a mature response, I demanded $500 cash if I was forced to go on the trip.

The third day there, we restored harmony by SCUBA diving. It isn’t a good idea to get into a fight when you could possibly be dependent on one another should you run low on air. A good time was had by all, aside from me having to cram myself into a wet suite.

We did one other little snorkel-wave runner “jungle” tour, but aside from that we just hung around the pool and the beach. We needed time to talk without acting as referees between the children. It was a welcome break. It was also fun to check weather.com and know it was 9 degrees at home.

Of course I missed the kids and researched Mexican adoptions on-line because I thought maybe I could speed up the process and come home with a little girl with jet black hair. It didn’t happen and after an hour with the kids, I was back to my theory that our family is more than complete.

Oh…I almost forgot…the Cancun airport was a ZOO when we were leaving. Not to sound like a snot, but we were in 1st class because Brandon has 8 billion frequent flier miles. Had we not been, we never would have made the flight. It took people four hours to check in. I felt so bad for the people waiting dragging bags and pushing tired babies in strollers. Ugh.

As we were standing in line Brandon said, “Hey, I think ‘your buddy’ from that silly show you love is over there.” Hot snot, he was right! It was the guy who plays Mitchell on “Modern Family,” which is seriously the funniest show I’ve watched in years. I violated my own, “I don’t bother celebrities,” rule and asked to take a picture with him. He was unbelievably nice and accommodated my annoying request.

Now we’re home. I forced the entire family into action this morning because I thought Maria was coming to clean. She didn’t, but it was an exercise in productivity. We’re now de-Christmasing the house. I’ll be vacuuming artificial pine needles until Easter. In between then and now, I’ll try to be better about updating the blog.