It’s rarely a good thing when the parent-teacher conference starts out with the teachers building up your parenting skills with an air that it’s all about to come crashing down. You’ve probably heard the theory that you should pad constructive criticism within two compliments; well I could feel it coming…
I had Meredith’s parent-teacher conference today. I was really looking forward to it, with some trepidation. Alex’s senior preschool conference was all about what a wonderful, empathetic boy he was. The teachers were stunned when I told them about the constant temper tantrums at home. They couldn’t say enough about what a great heart Alex had.
I knew the teachers had a different impression of Meredith because they kept telling me my kids were as different as night and day. I know my kids are entirely different people, but I don’t have the same rosy impression of Alex that they do. I had an inclining saying they were polar opposites wasn’t exactly a positive testament to Meredith’s behavior.
In short, I was worried she was a “mean girl.” Turns out, I’m not far off the mark. Anyone reading this who has a daughter who’s played with Meredith probably isn’t surprised by the report either. (Sigh.)
The teachers described Meredith with the following terms: lovely, smart, bright, academically advanced, a leader, powerful (that’s a direct and scary quote), and charismatic. All right, none of these are bad qualities. I exhaled and then heard the elusive “but,” in the room. The next line was straight out of Spiderman: “With great power, comes great responsibility, and Meredith isn’t using her power responsibly.”
Uh Oh.
The good news is Meredith has “unlimited potential.” The teachers both agreed Meredith could grow up to be an amazing person…if, and tell me how I'm supposed to teach this, she learns to use her ‘control over others’ in a more positive manner.
I heard that Meredith can read and write well beyond her age level. I saw her impressive self portrait with far more detail than anyone else in her class drew. I was handed a picture of a mighty oak with falling leaves that Merdi drew when they asked her to draw a picture that was representative of Fall.
In the same folder was a sheet where they were supposed to practice cutting lines…straight, curvy, and zig-zag. It was clear Meredith possessed the scissors skills required to cut the lines…she just did the first three curves and zig-zags and announced she was done. I was shown the jelly fish Meredith drew when asked to draw something that lives in the sea. She drew it, with significant detail and provided a reason why she liked jelly fish, but failed to draw a sea in which the jelly fish might reside. I was told that Meredith only devotes about 50% of herself to a project because she is so busy keeping an eye on the “home keeping” section of the classroom. Evidently, that is HER turf.
I had Meredith’s parent-teacher conference today. I was really looking forward to it, with some trepidation. Alex’s senior preschool conference was all about what a wonderful, empathetic boy he was. The teachers were stunned when I told them about the constant temper tantrums at home. They couldn’t say enough about what a great heart Alex had.
I knew the teachers had a different impression of Meredith because they kept telling me my kids were as different as night and day. I know my kids are entirely different people, but I don’t have the same rosy impression of Alex that they do. I had an inclining saying they were polar opposites wasn’t exactly a positive testament to Meredith’s behavior.
In short, I was worried she was a “mean girl.” Turns out, I’m not far off the mark. Anyone reading this who has a daughter who’s played with Meredith probably isn’t surprised by the report either. (Sigh.)
The teachers described Meredith with the following terms: lovely, smart, bright, academically advanced, a leader, powerful (that’s a direct and scary quote), and charismatic. All right, none of these are bad qualities. I exhaled and then heard the elusive “but,” in the room. The next line was straight out of Spiderman: “With great power, comes great responsibility, and Meredith isn’t using her power responsibly.”
Uh Oh.
The good news is Meredith has “unlimited potential.” The teachers both agreed Meredith could grow up to be an amazing person…if, and tell me how I'm supposed to teach this, she learns to use her ‘control over others’ in a more positive manner.
I heard that Meredith can read and write well beyond her age level. I saw her impressive self portrait with far more detail than anyone else in her class drew. I was handed a picture of a mighty oak with falling leaves that Merdi drew when they asked her to draw a picture that was representative of Fall.
In the same folder was a sheet where they were supposed to practice cutting lines…straight, curvy, and zig-zag. It was clear Meredith possessed the scissors skills required to cut the lines…she just did the first three curves and zig-zags and announced she was done. I was shown the jelly fish Meredith drew when asked to draw something that lives in the sea. She drew it, with significant detail and provided a reason why she liked jelly fish, but failed to draw a sea in which the jelly fish might reside. I was told that Meredith only devotes about 50% of herself to a project because she is so busy keeping an eye on the “home keeping” section of the classroom. Evidently, that is HER turf.
From what I understand Meredith runs the show in the home keeping area and all the kids follow her lead until they can’t take it anymore. Then, she’s moody and pouts. My suspicions were confirmed that Meredith is picky about whom she likes and whom she doesn’t. Merdi readily excludes people she doesn’t approve of.
Steam shot out of my ears at this point of the conference. We’ve talked about the importance of being kind since she was old enough to understand the concept. The cherry on top of the-my-child-is-a-tyrant sundae, was the revelation that Meredith “gets physical” when the children don’t do what she insists they do. Shoot me now.
It occurred to me that when the teachers used the word “charismatic” they meant like a tyrannical leader, not like Paula Deen. Meredith is the Kim Jong Il of Senior Preschool.
The teachers kept assuring me that I shouldn’t leave the conference thinking Meredith wasn’t a "lovely girl." They kept telling me how “attractive” she was and how the kids were drawn to her. Yeah, sort of like bugs are drawn to a bug zapper.
My suspicions confirmed; I left the conference with the scary realization that Meredith didn’t come by any of this on her own. I’m bossy, moody, and as a child often befriended kids I thought I could dominate. I survived, but I left a wake of people who didn’t have a very favorable impression of me. I really, really don’t want Meredith to be a “mean girl.”
The irony in all this is, Meredith is the “easy one” at our house. She nearly always has an ‘I’m up for anything’ mentality. She’s compliant and does what is asked of her 90% of the time. Up until about six months ago, she was 100% joy! I couldn’t wait for her to be in this particular class because selfishly I wanted her teachers to see what a fun and joyful child she was compared to her brooding and serious brother. I wanted them to know that I had it in me to raise a fun, outgoing kid. Be careful what you wish for…
Steam shot out of my ears at this point of the conference. We’ve talked about the importance of being kind since she was old enough to understand the concept. The cherry on top of the-my-child-is-a-tyrant sundae, was the revelation that Meredith “gets physical” when the children don’t do what she insists they do. Shoot me now.
It occurred to me that when the teachers used the word “charismatic” they meant like a tyrannical leader, not like Paula Deen. Meredith is the Kim Jong Il of Senior Preschool.
The teachers kept assuring me that I shouldn’t leave the conference thinking Meredith wasn’t a "lovely girl." They kept telling me how “attractive” she was and how the kids were drawn to her. Yeah, sort of like bugs are drawn to a bug zapper.
My suspicions confirmed; I left the conference with the scary realization that Meredith didn’t come by any of this on her own. I’m bossy, moody, and as a child often befriended kids I thought I could dominate. I survived, but I left a wake of people who didn’t have a very favorable impression of me. I really, really don’t want Meredith to be a “mean girl.”
The irony in all this is, Meredith is the “easy one” at our house. She nearly always has an ‘I’m up for anything’ mentality. She’s compliant and does what is asked of her 90% of the time. Up until about six months ago, she was 100% joy! I couldn’t wait for her to be in this particular class because selfishly I wanted her teachers to see what a fun and joyful child she was compared to her brooding and serious brother. I wanted them to know that I had it in me to raise a fun, outgoing kid. Be careful what you wish for…
1 comment:
Awesome -don't you love parent conferences in an instant you can be squashed and all the self doubt you have as a parent is confirmed and out there for all to see. I can empathize so much - Jon my no trouble - delight at home is the bane of my existence at conferences and Drew, my pistol is the king of the class. I never makes sense! Meredith IS a lovely girl - ;o)
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